If not an apology, at least a disclaimer to anyone who finds the following poem inflammatory: I’ve never been very good at turning the other cheek when it comes to offensive platforms, and I think that extreme statements can justify extreme responses. Whether you’re incensed or enthusiastic, feel free to leave your own response in the comments.
All hail Rick Santorum
He’s Christian to the core-um:
Theocracy allures ‘im
So America’s his forum.
In the mind of Rick Santorum,
We’re mothers or we’re whore-ums.
Even spouses: he implores ’em:
Condoms? Shouldn’t’ve worn ’em.
Rights to privacy? He ignores ’em.
He loves pre-suffrage lore-um.
US women are a quorum:
We won’t have Rick Santorum.
The illustration above is snitched from my earlier post, Love and Togetherness in the Age of Santorum.
Alaina Mabaso's Blog 
He’s confident, that Santorum
Of himself, he sure is sure-um
Because his god is all for ‘im
God calls him Rick Saintorum
First time ever on my blog that anyone has taken to the comments in verse form. I’m very grateful for this.
And I mean that I’m grateful for your poem, not that I’m grateful that my readers so seldom reply in poetry.
your verse about Rick
compelled me to click
this poem is quick
but that guy is a pee-pee face
America hungers for your literary genius, Bronson.
Bron.. “pee-pee face” reminded me of the Brigantine Poopy News with blind pulls acting as microphones. Golden years for me…
Oh man, I’m afraid to put this comment up in public lest my readers infer troubling things about my childhood. But I can’t resist – thanks for the memories!
How did I miss the Brigantine Poopy News?!? And I agree about Bron’s literary genius.
Thanks for the great post. More of us need to put out there exactly how “sick” we think this guy his, for his focussing on our bedrooms instead of the real issues facing this country.
I think it’s the ultimate irony that the politicians calling for greater personal freedom and less government intrusion completely change their tune when it’s about women’s issues. In Santorum’s case, the more government regulation and oversight into what a woman does with her body, the better.
I just love this poem!
Thanks! I wrote it very suddenly on the train one day while I was on my way to an assignment. Its pithiness masks my deep personal terror over all things Santorum.
Well, I’m Canadian so it’s not my election, but WTF? How can the religious right have so much power in the US?
Course we have Steven Harper who dreams of being Santorum, so there you go.
I know I often write about the issues with a humorous bent, but the truth is that Santorum and politicians like him scare me badly. I am watching my own country become a place that’s running backwards on most of the crucial, hard-fought advances women have gained over the last hundred years. If Santorum were to be elected (God forbid), I could not respond to him in any way except to know that he considers me a second-class citizen because of my sex.
Actually, we have more or less the same thing going on here. If Harper had his way, they’d actually deny us our hard earned right to abortions. I’ve never had one, never needed one, but who the hell are you to tell me what I can and cannot do with my body!
What scares me most is not so much that the Santorums and Harpers of the world exist, it’s that we’re actually ELECTING them.
Well, I’m not electing them. But some people certainly are. It really is a scary world for women when legislation continually intrudes into the choices they make with their own bodies. Apparently a newly introduced law in Arizona stipulates that any women receiving contraceptives coverage through her employer must submit a doctor’s note affirming that the contraceptives are to treat a medical condition, and not for the prevention of pregnancy!!
LOVE this!
Thanks! Santorum gets all the credit for the inspiration…
If they’re gay he’ll abhor ’em
Democrats–he’ll perjure ’em
Let’s hope there’s a quorum
Against Rick Santorum!
I never knew Santorum could be the source of so much poetry.
yea, ya think you’re living in 2013. Then, you look to Harrisburg ???
More like Texrisburg.