A Poem: Ten Things I’m Thinking About You When You Diagonally Park Your Porsche Cayenne Turbo Across Two Spaces In The Whole Foods Parking Lot


Isn’t Whole Foods about responsible consumption?
Look at your insufferable, Porsche-sized presumption.


We shop at the same store, I like to discern:
Maybe one day, I, too, will have money to burn.


You change lanes, make left turns, and things that’re tougher –
But when you’re parked, you insist on a double-space buffer.


Let’s be real: my things couldn’t sell for ten bucks at a yard sale.
But were I rich as you, my Porsche-parking objections might pale.


Did you buy a Porsche because you’re the big fish in town?
Or – chicken or the egg? – is it the other way around?


Even at the grocery store, you know you’re on view.
When you got a Porsche, did the world become a showroom for you?


When your car costs a hundred grand, you must always attend it.
Someone might steal it, scratch it, or God forbid, dent it.


Your entitlement is obvious: you get two parking spaces instead of just one.
What do you get next? Tax cuts? Free condiments? Traveling for fun?


Do you really think this parking lot is such a buffoon bin
That if someone parks next to you, your car will be ruined?


What happens (I’m imagining parking lot fisticuffs)
When you park on two mall spaces, the Saturday before Christmas?


Add yours →

  1. YES I HATE IT when stuff like this happens! UGH!

  2. Alaina: SCRATCH HIS HOOD! Maybe he’s just a very Porsche parker. Patrick D. Hazard, Weimar,Germany.,

    • But what if I scratched his hood and then the police scoured my blog for damning evidence which led right to your suggestion…Bad idea all around, I’d say.

  3. I absolutely love the last couplet’s rhyme – very clever.

Don't let me have the last say. What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: