The Weekly Poem: On Stink Bugs

Stink Bugs on the window-frame,
 Stink Bugs on the door
(Nobody knows why they came),
Stink Bugs on the floor.

Stink Bugs crawling up the wall,
 Stink Bugs in the nook
 (These insects will defeat us all),
Stink Bugs reading books.

Stink Bugs crawling up the plants
 Stink Bugs on the lace
 (Check your bedspread, check your pants),
Stink bugs thrive in every space.

Brown Marmorated Stink Bug
Is its proper name.
Town operator Stink Bugs
Of immigration fame.

Stink Bugs came from Asia,
Arrived in Allentown
(And this is what’ll really faze ya):
Before the 90’s,  weren’t around.

Now their creepy-crawly reek
Gets Mid-Atlantic grouses.
Better hope your nose is weak:
They winter in our houses.

They feed on crops and wreck the price
(Never squish them – oh, the smell),
They’ve got no aspects that are nice:
They’re olfactory and farming hell.

We’ve seen the mighty Stink Bug
Annoy us coast to coast.
The mean and flighty Stink Bug
Is not the bug I hate the most.


But it’s close.

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12 Comments

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  1. I used to have lots of the house centipedes; they would show up on walls and in bathrooms and scare us all, even though they’re not dangerous, just REALLY ugly.

    I gave up eventually and got an exterminator. Once a month, or less frequently, and none now. Nada. Zip. All gone. Aaaaah!

  2. I believe it’s about $30 per month. It includes, in my case, inside and outside to keep other kinds of critters and bugs and horrors from getting in. Instead of every month, it’s probably about 9 times per year. Less in winter, more in bug season (defined as “not winter”). 🙂

  3. Thanks for several large smiles. 🙂 🙂 🙂

  4. What a riot! At least centipedes can’t fly, although climbing walls and falling on you is pretty bad. BUT I’m sure YOU can smell them even before they are squished.

    • you’re right – I should count my blessings that at least centipedes are relatively earth-bound.

      Many’s the time I’ve flown at an imminent would-be stink bug squisher screaming “don’t squish that!!” It’s as if some people still don’t know the consequence…

  5. Due to having that ungodly Synnestvedt sense of smell, I long ago perfected my S. bug disposal method. I loathe how primordial they are, and how impervious to their own hideousness.

  6. They’re definitely around. But they’re not a plague. What’s more, I don’t remember them being around the first several years I was here.

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