#1
Isn’t Whole Foods about responsible consumption?
Look at your insufferable, Porsche-sized presumption.
#2
We shop at the same store, I like to discern:
Maybe one day, I, too, will have money to burn.
#3
You change lanes, make left turns, and things that’re tougher -
But when you’re parked, you insist on a double-space buffer.
#4
Let’s be real: my things couldn’t sell for ten bucks at a yard sale.
But were I rich as you, my Porsche-parking objections might pale.
#5
Did you buy a Porsche because you’re the big fish in town?
Or – chicken or the egg? – is it the other way around?
#6
Even at the grocery store, you know you’re on view.
When you got a Porsche, did the world become a showroom for you?
#7
When your car costs a hundred grand, you must always attend it.
Someone might steal it, scratch it, or God forbid, dent it.
#8
Your entitlement is obvious: you get two parking spaces instead of just one.
What do you get next? Tax cuts? Free condiments? Traveling for fun?
#9
Do you really think this parking lot is such a buffoon bin
That if someone parks next to you, your car will be ruined?
#10
What happens (I’m imagining parking lot fisticuffs)
When you park on two mall spaces, the Saturday before Christmas?
