Archive for the ‘The Sunday Polls’ Category

The Artist: The Best New Old Movie of All Time?

February 6, 2012

Even my smartest friends are in raptures over The Artist. Since it’s being hailed as possibly the best movie of all time since those newfangled talkies hit the screen, I marched myself to a matinee at the local one-screen community theater up the street. Having racked up Oscar nominations for everything from its actors and directing to Film Editing, Score and Costume Design (nine in all), never mind that the film is mostly silent – I’m surprised they didn’t just throw best Sound Editing in too.

The look of the opening credits put me right on the couch with my beloved Grampa, who enjoys nothing more than a good Deanna Durbin musical of the 1930’s. On Grampa’s movie nights, young ladies and their fathers would do anything for each other. There’s a lot of music and tearful hugging (he also loves old Little House on the Prairie episodes).

Deanna Durbin in One Hundred Men and a Girl.

The unquestioned devotion of a young woman for an older man is a theme of The Artist, too. There’s a pinch of romance, and lots of gazing out car windows while tears drip down in concert with the rain. And a pretty cute dog.

Nice cars are nothing when your friends are unhappy.

Silent movie star George Valentin (the perfectly cast Jean Dujardin) rules the movie biz of the late 1920’s. The      audience of Obama’s November 2008 acceptance speech has nothing on the 1927 audience at the premiere of Valentin’s latest epic. His impeccably trained terrier is the perfect onstage appendage as Valentin soaks in the crowd’s adulation, shamelessly upstaging his co-star (the impish Missi Pyle).  Throngs of female fans love him almost as much as his own wife detests him (how nice that these marital debacles were limited to Hollywood’s earliest era).

A chance encounter in front of the cameras with Valentin vaults young, beautiful autograph seeker Peppy Miller (Bérénice Bejo) from the shrieking female masses to the front pages, and with the media savvy of a Kardashian matriarch, she lands herself a once-in-a-lifetime audition. It’s not long before Peppy and Valentin reunite onset, and, illuminated by the fresh-faced Bejo’s delicious smile, romance sparkles before the day is over.

But as Peppy’s star rises, Valentin meets the advent of talking pictures with fruity guffaws. Deserted by his studio approximately three minutes later, he wagers everything, Shyamalan-style, on writing, directing, producing and starring in a new silent film adventure which flops just in time for the Great Depression.

Valentin trades his palatial home for a grimy apartment and settles into a self-pitying stupor of booze and cigarettes.  The pawnshop shrugs over his snazziest things, and his only human comfort is the melancholic warmth of a faithful chauffeur (James Cromwell), unless you count the laser-like devotion of his little dog (and audiences calling for a canine Oscar nomination probably would). To a bombastic score, Valentin’s bar-slumping, ambling-around-town gloom drags on for what feels like most of the film (curiously, his pencil mustache endures to perfection, however dissolute the rest of him becomes).

The 'stache is impervious to any misfortune.

The florid and fiery crescendo arrives as the artist’s despair leads to the unthinkable, which we’ve been waiting for all along.

But throughout it all, apparently on the strength of a few giddy dances and a sweet dressing-room exchange, Peppy tirelessly attends to Valentin’s welfare, and secures a second chance for him.

With all of the conventions of a sentimental show-biz narrative intact – the pain of being eclipsed in an oh-so-fickle world, slavish devotion (from both the canine and the human female), the tender artist’s risk of self-destruction, the balm of restored notoriety, and a rousing dance number – everyone is in raptures over how fresh and lovely the film is.

A lot of critics loved this film, but here I’ll just point to the Philadelphia Inquirer’s own Stephen Rea, who raves that the film is “vital and new”.

“Strangely, wonderfully,” he continues, “The Artist feels as bold and innovative a moviegoing experience as James Cameron’s bells-and-whistles Avatar did a couple of years ago. Retro becomes nuevo. Quaint becomes cool.”

It must be because writer/director Michel Hazanavicius  has created a black-and-white, almost completely silent film for a twenty-first century audience, with only the most necessary dialogue revealed in old-fashioned placards. John Goodman, afforded almost no subtitles in the role of the classic cigar-puffing agent, may be worth the price of admission just for his soundless expressions of thoroughly disgruntled acquiescence.  The cast shines and the sets are irresistible.

Especially for a relative youngster like me – and, I admit it, hardly a film aficionado – watching a brand-new silent film does elicit an enjoyable kind of verbal suspense and attunement that’s lacking in modern films. “Our screen senses are heightened,” Rea says. “We take in the actors, their motions and emotions, more keenly. The music hits our ears differently, more deeply.” But for me, the throwback novelty of the film’s silent landscape does nothing to heighten the protagonists’ emotional appeal or motivations.

Before we spend at least a third of the film on Valentin’s piteous degradation, we know nothing about him except that he lives for applause and is insufferably conceited, embracing a trained dog more often than his wife. His patrician smolder, however poignant, seems like a poor basis to root for the resurrection of his career, and the reasons for Peppy’s redeeming fidelity to Valentin are unclear, beyond the happy female trope that kept dear little Deanna scheming adorably on behalf of the down-and-out men in her onscreen lives.

Nope. I still don't care.

Of course The Artist’s setting is ripe for references to the modern scramble of the media in the digital age, as the public’s entertainment consumption evolves by the minute. But by now these themes hardly seem any newer than the storytelling conventions of the 1930’s.

Who knows how the art of film will change over the next century? Who knows what we’ll be nostalgic for in another seventy years? Perhaps someone will produce, say, an adventure movie in which a hero with a gritty past must battle aliens hungry for Earth’s resources until someone discovers that infiltrating the mother-ship is the key to it all. The film, full of explosions and fiery, slimy computerized effects, will be shown on a flat screen in 2-D, and the passage of time will render the one-dimensional hero and simplistic plot refreshing and poignant.

The Artist is a beautifully-made, often pleasurable film. But its endearingly old-fashioned quality, from its slew of narrative clichés to its silent-film gimmick, hardly adds up to the best film of year.

What do you think?

If you think I’m a total philistine for shrugging over this New York Film Critics Circle Award Best Picture, by all means, weigh in.

The Sunday Poll: The World’s Worst Gift part II

January 1, 2012

As we face the promise of a brand new year, I prefer not to look forward with optimism, but to reflect bitterly upon what 2011 brought to me – or specifically, what others brought to me.

You may remember the giant centipede incident from this past summer. Alas, this Christmas was yet another example of family gift-giving gone very, very wrong.

Here is a box I received from my mother on Christmas morning.

A promising box.

What could be inside?

I carefully opened the blue tissue paper, and beheld these:

These are salt and pepper shakers shaped like feet.

Someone, somewhere, once considered these saltshakers a tasteful addition to the table.

There is more to this gift than meets the eye. In fact, a particular feature of these shakers is what compelled my mother to purchase them for me.

For many years, my feet have been the laughingstock of the family. Apparently, my big toes point skyward to an alarming degree. Now, even if my feet are as freakish as my parents would have me believe, I have always said that their amusement is unfair because who but they were responsible for the genes that shaped my feet? It must be owned that these salt-shakers are not the first foot figurines of this style that I have been given.

Readers, forgive me if what follows is too much for your delicate sensibilities. But I want to know, once and for all – are these gifts of pointy-toed foot figurines justified?

The salt and pepper shakers.

The author's feet.

In my mother’s defense, she also gifted me some really nice new linens, several excellent books, aquarium supplies, the new Jane Eyre film on DVD, chocolate-covered pretzels, and purple yoga pants.

The Sunday Poll: Santa Edition

December 18, 2011

What's your relationship with Santa?

“I hate Santa,” my Dad announces, watching the holiday-themed commercials of the Sunday football game.

Dad is not a holiday scrooge. He has just presided over a large Christmas party in his home, in which one guest, unaided, drained a $50 bottle of scotch while Dad betrayed not the slightest lapse in hospitality. He buys beautiful Christmas gifts for Mom and joins the church choir for holiday services. But he has no love for Santa.

Ultimately, his objection is a practical one: “There’s no way, even if Santa was real, that he could get to every house before Christmas.”

I pointed out that not all of the world’s children celebrate Christmas, so it’s not, by a long shot, every house in the world.

“It’s Christian homes all over the world,” he allows. But it’s still an “inane idea that he could fit down the chimney that had a roaring fire six hours ago, carrying a giant bag, and know what every single person wanted.”

I have to say I agree, though I don’t necessarily harbor any ill will against the idea of Santa. While my brother and I (and now my husband and his sister), as well as the family dogs, always received lavish stockings, my parents never emphasized the idea of Santa. On Christmas Eve nights, when mine and my cousins’ family would stay with my Dad’s parents, I, my brother and our cousins would sleep beside the Christmas tree, more to immerse ourselves in the festive setting and increase our proximity to the waiting presents than in hopes of catching Santa in the act.

Once, very early in the morning, I woke up to see my grandmother, in her long white nightgown, adding some premium markers to the stockings. She was flustered to notice me looking.

“I’m just adding to what Santa put in,” she explained guiltily. I nodded dutifully for her sake, because far from believing in Santa myself, I didn’t want to scuttle her belief of my belief in Santa.

I can’t remember ever believing that a fat, red-clad, white-bearded man would enter the house in the wee hours of Christmas morning, on his way to every other (good) Christian child’s house. The logical impossibilities of this made Santa a complete non-issue in my life. I participated in the assembling of family members’ stocking stuffers from an early age.

But Mom wasn’t sure of my detachment. After attending a mother-daughter Christmas party with me one year when I was in elementary school, I was sitting in the car on the way home, pleasantly distended from Christmas cookies in my red velveteen dress, and thinking that “White Christmas” was the most boring movie I had ever seen. Mom said she wanted to talk to me about something.

“Laina, did you know that Santa isn’t a real person?” I was surprised she thought she even had to mention it.

I know that when I have my own children, I won’t encourage them to believe in Santa. I realize I may be letting myself in for several years of grocery-line grief when I cannot say, “Santa is not going to bring you anything this year if you don’t put those M&Ms down!” But I’m willing to risk the fall-out. To me, family gift-giving provides all the magic Christmas will ever need.

But I’m also aware that many people recall the shocking moment when they (or their children) learned that Santa is not real. I’m interested in my readers’ histories with Santa.

I know many of my readers don’t celebrate Christmas. Feel free to chime in with any stories of your own holiday traditions. And to the Santa contigent: please share your stories in the comments about the time you (or your kids) learned the truth about Santa, or why you never believed in the first place.

Career Advice: a poll for my readers

December 13, 2011

Is this my fate?

In the recently published “Gluten Wars” poll, voters seem pretty well split between a devotion to gluten in their own lives and a happily gluten-free existence.  This was not the clear-cut answer I needed, so thanks a lot to everyone who participated.

Regardless of past disappointments, perhaps you can help me this week.

My current dilemma seems pretty monumental, at least from my own perspective. You may not find it as interesting, but your more objective take is probably all the more valuable.

Should I ditch the freelance life for a “real” job (assuming I could find one)?

Here are the relevant factors, as I see them.

I can usually make ends meet month to month, though a few other pursuits, such as a bit of eldercare and a smidgeon of tour-guiding, in addition to pay for my articles, have helped to round out my bank account this year.

I am not eschewing regular employment so I can sit in my apartment (or my parents’ house) and call myself a “writer” because I keep an exhaustive blog about my life. I have relationships with several editors at a few different publications who seem willing to assign me articles and features on an ongoing basis, or at least publish what I send them when I feel inspired. Over the years I’ve been steadily building my portfolio and experience and am continuing to meet my career goals.

When people ask me what I do for a living and I say, “writer,” I get a personally unprecedented internal surge of happiness and self-worth. Not only do I love to write – I love to learn, and sometimes I think a writing career is just one big excuse to go on learning about things, right from the experts, without having to pay for school. In the last week or so, I have written about Italian cooking and food trucks, toad migration, the Philadelphia Orchestra, racism and Mary the mother of Jesus. Upcoming assignments include mural design and urban chicken-keeping. I love not knowing what new knowledge the week might bring.

And, in the world of my own shameless ego, what is better than being introduced to a group of people as “the author” and being asked to sign your book? Plus I like the special access to interesting people or events that comes with being a member of the press. No-one returns your call faster than someone who realizes you want to write about him.

The cons of my current lifestyle are the hours spent crouched over a calculator, my bank balance and my assignment/invoice-tracking lists, watching the dollars coming in barely covering the dollars going out. But even this is not as depressing as the inevitable difficulties of actually collecting the money that is due to me through an amazing world of invoicing screw-ups that I never would have thought possible. Also, there is the problem of knowing that I have, in theory, earned enough money to cover my bills, but not knowing whether the money is going to arrive in time to pay said bills.

It also takes a lot of ongoing energy not only to meet existing deadlines, but to always be cranking out ideas for where else I’d like to be published and what else I could pitch or write, and reminding editors that I exist and that I can write pretty good. Nobody is going to hand any work to me.

There is an answer. My husband provides it as gently as he can when he suggests that I alleviate my stress and make more money by “switching careers” or, since I’m reasonably smart, perhaps going back to school for an MBA or something else more lucrative than journalism (not that I even went to school for journalism in the first place).

I’ve worked in an office before and I’ve had the pleasure of weekly or bi-weekly paychecks (taxes already deducted), especially the ones that slip into my bank account electronically, even saving me the trouble of going to the bank. Budgeting is ridiculously easy when you can count on receiving the same amount of money on the same days of the month. Perhaps I could even pay off my student loans before my own unborn children start college.

If I worked a regular job, I could probably come home around six o’clock each day and sit on the couch, instead of flitting around the city or suburbs all day, chasing meetings, interviews or assignments, and then sitting down at my computer until all hours of the night.

However.

Even imagining a return to more stable, consistent employment (probably some kind of marketing, PR or tourism job, given my experience and abilities), where my daily duties would be fairly consistent and I would work with the same people in the same place week after week, makes me more than a little desperate, even as I longingly imagine the potential financial comfort. I want to continue meeting new people, diving into new topics, and telling stories. But the bottom line is that I may need to be more practical than that.

Life is not about doing whatever you think is fun. Life is about being a responsible adult and paying all your bills on time and making enough money to afford some kids, dogs, a house and a nice car, and not be bankrupted by health insurance costs, even if you don’t like your job.  And maybe my whole idea of working any job besides freelance writing is needlessly pessimistic, and I simply haven’t found the right employer for me.

Right now, it seems like whenever I sit down at the computer and swear to myself that today I will job search and send in applications, a writing assignment will come in and I jump on that instead. Not only is it more interesting than job hunting, it guarantees a payment that a job hunt does not guarantee. But am I screwing myself in the long run by not pursuing something more lucrative and stable? Is it foolish to explore more ways to increase my freelance income through journalism, essays, blogging or corporate writing when I could be applying for normal jobs?

I’m sure many of you can relate to the freelance life, whether you’re a writer, musician, actor, artist, or any number of things. What has your experience been? Would you recommend your lifestyle to others?

 

The Sunday Poll: “Not in my church!”; or, Is Racism Here To Stay?

December 5, 2011

My husband and I will not be visiting the Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church.

We don’t take kindly to your singing together around here.

That was the message a couple in Kentucky got when they performed a song together at the woman’s home church. It should’ve just been a nice little interlude for the congregation, but Melvin Thompson, the long-time pastor of the Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church, afterward made a point of telling the couple they wouldn’t be welcome back.

The problem was that Stella Harville is white, and her fiance, Ticha Chikuni, a Zimbabwe native, is black.

In August, Thompson informed the Harville family that Stella and her partner would not be allowed to sing in church again. He stepped down as pastor shortly after that, but wouldn’t let the issue go, because while the new pastor decided that Harville and Chikuni could sing in church if they wanted to, Thompson got busy introducing a proposal to officially discourage interracial marriage among church members.

A Kentucky.com article quotes from the recommendation: “parties of such marriages will not be received as members, nor will they be used in worship services” or other church functions (though they could come to funerals). This ”is not intended to judge the salvation of anyone, but is intended to promote greater unity among the church body and the community we serve.”

Some unity.

It was decided that this policy should go to a vote before the congregation. Six people voted against it. Nine people voted for it. The rest didn’t want to reveal their opinion.

“It sure ain’t Christian. It ain’t nothing but the old devil working,” Harville’s father is quoted as saying.

Indeed.

“Why are you laughing?” my husband asked mildly when I told him about this joyous little nugget earlier this week. I said I had to laugh, because otherwise I’d get really pissed off that things like this still happen.

I try to tell myself that if we just stay out of the Kentucky neighborhood, we’ll be fine. Things are different in Philadelphia.

Yes, there are members of the older generation and what I’ve always thought of as “ignorance racism.” My 88-year-old grandmother isn’t going to stop asking me whether I mind that my friends in South Africa are black.

But I got stopped cold early this year, when I was on the job-hunt networking circuit and lunched with an esteemed colleague who had resume advice.  We discussed ways to present my skill set and professional arenas I could adapt myself to. We were almost done lunch, but I could see that there was something else she wanted to say. She had gotten a piece of advice for me from someone else, and was afraid of offending me, but she also wanted to be honest, even though she didn’t necessarily agree with the tip.

She had circulated my resume to a department head in her organization, a prominent local non-profit. He had said that I should change the “Mabaso” on my resume to some other name,  because hiring managers would assume I was black, and therefore toss my resume in the trash.

I gaped like a fish for a second or two. Then I managed to say that if a company would really throw a person’s resume out because of their race, I wouldn’t want to work there anyway.

America has come a long way when it comes to race relations. Hasn’t it? I guess the question I would put to you, dear readers, is whether or not you think we’re slowly moving toward a racism-free world, or if the above examples of prejudice are proof that a society without racism is impossible. Will there always be some dark corner where Melvin Thompsons sow their mean and pointless division?

Notice there is no answer option for those who think interracial marriage bans are a good idea. If you were looking for this option, you are welcomed to my blog just as warmly as Mr. Thompson welcomed Ticha Chikuni to church.

P.S. I want to put in an apology to regular readers, because I know I’ve been slacking the last few weeks on the Sunday Poll. My beloved great-aunt is not long for this world, and I’m one of her caretakers. After many hours of hospice care on the weekends, I’ve been going to bed instead of blogging. I’ll try to get back on track. 

 

 

The Sunday Poll’s “Would You Rather” Edition: Sister Wives or 20 Kids?

November 14, 2011

I felt a bit drained after last week’s screed on the Mississippi personhood amendment, and instead of researching and writing anything else worthwhile for this week’s Sunday Poll, I began to stream TLC’s “Sister Wives” on Netflix – a reality show about modern polygamist Mormons.  I’ve seen three or four episodes of season one.

“Sister Wives” stars an amiable, unkempt man named Kody Brown who was apparently not raised as a Mormon, but became aware of the whole multiple-wives lifestyle, thought, I could get behind this, converted, and began assembling a prodigious family through means decidedly unconventional to the rest of us.

Mr. Brown and his wives.

Whoever pitched this show is a genius.

Many forty-something men can say they’ve been married for twenty years. Kody Brown has been marrying for twenty years. He began with pragmatic Meri, added the rotund and dedicated Janelle a few years later, and then proposed to the tenderhearted Christine. Christine always wanted to be a polygamist man’s third wife: she felt that being a first wife would be too much work and being a second wife would make her a “wedge” between her husband and his first wife. She settled on becoming a third wife because that would be “easy”.

Life is chaotic in the Brown household. Kody can’t support so much family on his own, so Meri and Janelle both work grueling hours outside the home, while Christine, massively pregnant with her sixth child, takes primary responsibility for the twelve children that (so far) make up Kody’s total brood. When Kody is not at work, he divides his time between shambling happily from bedroom to bedroom in his sock feet and making the four-hour drive to visit his new fiancée, Robyn, a 30-year-old divorcee with three kids under 10 of her own.

While he’s gone, his three wives rearrange heavy furniture on their own, to make room for the new baby’s cradle. None of them ever expected that she’d have a husband to herself, but their apprehensive sadness is as palpable as their resignation – though to be fair, they’re also pleased to anticipate another set of hands around the house and profess to regard Robyn as a beloved friend.

Christine weeps over her enormous belly. She is devastated because Kody observed the proper Mormon decorum with her and did not kiss her until they came to the altar, but he saw fit to smooch the lovely Robyn upon their engagement.  One wonders if Kody could possibly have put off courting another woman until after the baby was born.

At about the same time the Browns hit my radar, I noticed a news story about another extreme American family.

The Duggars at home.

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar of Arkansas, stars of TLC’s Nineteen Kids and Counting, hear a direct calling from the Lord to eschew all types of birth control. About two years ago, Michelle gave birth to her 19th baby three and a half months early. The child weighed less than two pounds and was delivered due to the crisis of Michelle’s preeclampsia, soaring blood pressure and kidney trouble.

The announcement last week that Jim Bob and Michelle are expecting their twentieth child elicited this comment from NBC’s chief medical editor: “that uterus can’t have any spring in it anymore…I mean, really, it’s gotta be like a water balloon that has no tensile strength.” A variety of commentators eagerly jumped on board, some decrying the Duggar’s irresponsible child factory as fast as others could point out parents’ sacred right to decide the size of their own family in the glorious U.S. of A.

I don’t want to poll you on whether or not Kody, Meri, Janelle, Christine, Robyn, Jim Bob and Michelle are living responsible, healthy lifestyles, or whether their choices should be promoted on wildly popular TV shows. Instead, let’s pretend we’re on a super-long car ride together (or a fifth-grade sleepover), and ask each other one simple question.

Who Would You Rather Be?

Would you rather be Christine Brown, pregnant with your sixth child at age 37 and watching your husband rotate between two other women’s bedrooms when he is not visiting his young and attractive new girlfriend, all in the name of religion? Or would you rather be Michelle Duggar, believing that your primary role in life is to birth an army for Jesus regardless of the growing risk to your own life, pregnant with your 20th child at age 45 while big-shot editors comment freely on the state of your uterus? Everybody please feel free to elaborate on your choice in the comments.

And honestly, I’m interested in the opinion of both sexes here, so men, put your imaginations to work (and no, I will not be asking you which you’d rather have, Jim Bob’s one regular sex partner or Kody’s four).

The Sunday Poll: Are You Getting Your Flu Shot?

November 6, 2011

Vast corporate rip-off? Or my civic duty?

 

$29.99 is a small price to pay to avoid the flu. Right?

Flu Shots! Every drugstore offers them. I had my first one last year, not because I asked for it, but because I went for my annual checkup before I spent a month abroad, my doctor urged me to get it before I got on the plane, and it was covered with the preventive care visit. The needle was in there almost before I could open my mouth.  My arm was really sore for a few days.  I didn’t get the flu last year.

Flu Shots! $29.99! Everywhere I go. If I went back to the doctor, I know she’d happily stick me again. But somehow the annual advent of flu shots kicks off a massive internal debate. Do I really need it?

The pros and cons rage back and forth. I’m familiar with many reasons that people avoid flu shots. I’m sure the anti-vaccine crowd will continue to write books and appear on talk shows to scare us away from any vaccine, until America suffers an ensuing large outbreak of whooping cough or measles, and we come back to our senses, having re-witnessed the horrors of these diseases.

Some people fear that the vaccine itself it will infect them with the flu, or that it contains chemicals which will poison them. I have friends who are scientists (as opposed to ragtag arts writers like me), and I asked them all about it. Now I know the dead virus in the vaccine triggers my immune system’s defense without making me sick, and I know that protection from diseases like polio and tetanus far outweighs any ill effects of vaccines (effects which do not include autism).

Flu Shots! $29.99! I do get skeptical of the united front from doctors and the government to spend thirty bucks on a vaccine for an illness that is very, very seldom fatal to otherwise healthy individuals. They’ve got to be in league with the pharmaceutical companies. Our government and health care officials whip up fear about the flu, and big-ass corporate pharma rakes in the profits. Why should I pay up?

On the other hand, it also makes sense that our government would want to do everything it could to prevent a large flu outbreak, which would cost a heck of a lot more than a season of public service announcements. Even without a 1919-type horror, I’m sure that the flu takes a noticeable toll on the country’s productivity each winter, as workers are forced to take sick leave when they catch it. It’s in everyone’s best interest to keep the population healthy as possible, to avoid lost revenue and productivity, and to avoid extra demands on the health-care system.

(Last year I learned that the government, as well as large employers, promotes a new chicken pox vaccine for children not because of concerns over the youngsters’ suffering or mortality, but because of massive lost productivity each year when parents call out of work to care for their pox-stricken kiddies.)

But aside from any fears about the risks of the vaccine, or fears of an evil corporate pharma kingdom controlling the government and my doctor’s office, I wonder if the vaccine is really necessary for me.

Tetanus? Whooping cough? Yeah, go ahead and inject me, especially since if I get pregnant, my whooping cough vaccine will protect my newborn, who isn’t eligible to get the vaccine until he or she is older. Measles? Polio? Diphtheria? I don’t want to risk death or permanent disability from these illnesses, so yes. But the flu?

Unlike many children born before my generation, I won’t get polio or measles. But the flu and I are well acquainted: the days of burning fever, the joints that feel full of hot ground glass, the skull turned to lead, the nose rubbed red from Kleenex. It’s horrid, especially for a girl like me, who begins to get desperate after one solid day at home. I typically go back to work as soon as I can stand for several minutes at a time. A two-week bout of laryngitis usually follows.

But I never died of the flu. Isn’t it just a periodic risk of being human? Why should we treat it like the end of the world? Why are we so terrified of getting sick? Is the flu really too much to bear?

On the other hand, even if I’m healthy and can handle the flu, if I’m vaccinated, that helps to protect any infants I encounter, who can’t get the vaccine themselves, and are more susceptible to the flu’s dangers.  I take care of frail elderly people on a regular basis. Are they better protected if I’m vaccinated? The benefits of vaccination are not just to the individual – when a majority of us are vaccinated, society at large is protected. Could that $29.99 be my civic duty?

But my darn scientist friends have informed me a little too well on some fronts. The fact is, viruses are evolving all the time. Not only are there many different versions of the flu out there – these viruses change all the time, all the better to infect you, my dear. When flu vaccines are developed, manufactured and sold, their makers are essentially predicting which strains of the virus will be most prevalent this year. But they can’t be sure. And getting vaccinated against one flu virus doesn’t guarantee that I won’t be struck with another. So I could end up $30 lighter (plus the sore arm) and still be hating life round about February.

Should I just pay up and get the vaccine? Or should I take my chances?

The Sunday Poll: Do You “Vote for me”?

September 25, 2011

I never win contests. For years, I suppose this has been a self-fulfilling prophecy, as I never enter any, because of the entrenched knowledge that I will not win. The closest I get to entering a contest these days is gambling $20 every year or so in Atlantic City. I never win, of course, though for everyone else in my family, every game seems to turn into an instant fount of cash. Some people are just lucky – somehow it seems like the same family always wins all the church raffles.

My friends have no qualms about entering online contests – maybe because they also have no qualms about relentlessly enlisting everyone they know to help them win. Social media makes this a snap. My Facebook feed is full of people trying to win contests not simply on the merit of their entries – from an art piece to a cute baby they happen to have birthed – but because they can mobilize a small army of people to vote for the entry just because contest entrant asked them to.

Perhaps I should also turn the vote-for-me question towards myself. This blog is approaching 20,000 hits: a modest number, to be sure, but a hell of a lot more than when I first started it. Each time I publish a new post and put it up on Facebook, I am asking for your clicks just as surely as all the contest entrants are. In this case, I don’t want people to affirm that my engagement story is the best EVER or that my dog is the cutest, but I do want them to affirm the worth of my platform as a writer, given everything else that teems on the internet, including friends’ contests.

I suppose one thing that bothers me is that it’s not just a matter of delivering one vote in the name of friendship. That wouldn’t be too much to ask, if I thought my friend’s entry was worthwhile. But the initial notice of the contest becomes a flood of entreaties about the necessity of voting once a day for the duration of the contest. This awakes in me a range of uncomfortable feelings.

I feel annoyed at being inundated with ill-targeted requests. Then I feel guilty for not taking the time to vote every day for my friends, whom I really love dearly.  Then I get worried that if I did make a habit of visiting the website of the contest, and familiarized myself with other entrants, I might find an entry that is worthier than my friend’s: would I then betray my friend by voting for someone else?

Worst of all, I’m oppressed by a growing general fear that no-one wins anything these days because their entry is the most deserving. It’s probably just a matter of who has the most online friends which can be harangued daily into voting – or reading.

And so we come to the poll.

The Sunday Poll: Do I Need To Knock It Off And Just Get a Smart Phone?

September 18, 2011

Every once in awhile, I get a tiny moment’s assurance that I am not the biggest troglodyte in the world. There are still other people who do not have an iPhone or similar sleek piece o’ internet magic in the palm of their hands.

I’ve always been a late adopter. I think my dislike of technology began back in second grade, when the kids who finished their math assignments early got to play computer games. I was always laboring over my math problems with my paper and pencil right up to the bell, and so never got a chance to try the games. Perhaps, as I refuse to get a smart phone, I’m still the same little kid trying to convince herself that computer games aren’t that much fun, anyway.

Last week I got an e-mail from a photographer about scheduling an assignment we were given.  We had never worked together before.

“Alaina, let me give you my number,” he wrote. “I don’t have a smart phone so I sometimes don’t see my emails until it’s too late.”

After I gave him my own phone number, since I also cannot be reached by e-mail at all times at all corners of the globe, his e-mail provoked two thoughts.

First, the phrase “sometimes I don’t see my emails until it’s too late”, is, I think, all too typical of the age we’re living in. “Until it’s too late” sounds less like “beyond the time that is optimally convenient to the sender of the message” and more like “I’m aware that the apocalypse will arrive if this message is not received within the expected timeframe” (i.e., NOW).

Secondly, for some reason, his words made me wonder for the first time what the photographer and I have, if it’s not a “smart” phone. The implication is clear. Nice move, Apple et al. You didn’t even have to say it, and I’m already thinking it.

My dumb phone.

I work with many people who do have smart phones. One editor in particular can answer e-mails more quickly than the sun’s rays can reach Mercury. I recently left a voice message for another editor several hours before I was scheduled to cover an event, to let her know that I was sick and someone should replace me.  She replied to the message with an e-mail, which I didn’t get until I could sit down at my computer a few hours later. In the meantime, I was worried that the world was ending out there.

It’s true, I’ve missed potential assignments because I was running around the city with nothing but my dumb-phone, and no-one thought to call me directly instead of sending an e-mail.  I do have a wifi-enabled iPad (acquired in an unusual fashion, to be sure), but when I take it with me, I feel shackled to my online messages. I’m overcome by the sensation that dreadful things will happen if I do not moderate blog comments RIGHT NOW. I feel like there is no excuse for not immediately answering anything anyone sends me, be they colleague, reader, family, friend or foe.

And then it’s pretty hard to get anything else done.

I use my phone for calls and text messages and for snapping blurry pictures of rainbows. I generally use the iPad for playing Boggle in bed when I can’t sleep.

But the undeniable fact is, my day-to-day technology is behind that of most of my colleagues and editors. The world is always moving. Things are never going back to the way they were, and eventually I’m going to have to step out of the technological caboose.

And so we come to the poll.

 

The Sunday Poll (on Monday): Am I A Heartless Crone For Not Helping People Who Beg For Transit Fare?

September 12, 2011

Every day.

“Excuse me, miss, can I ask you a question?” The man by the water fountain in the train station paused in his cell phone conversation. I eyed him warily.

I ride public transit every day and every day strangers stop me for one of two reasons.

First, I am a magnet for strangers who need directions. I used to think it was because I project a robust knowledge of Philadelphia, but then one morning I went up to New York City (which I don’t know as well) for a story, and while I was waiting for my driver amongst the flood of commuters pouring up the Penn Station stairs onto 7th Street, two different people chose me out of the whole crowd in the space of five minutes to ask directions. Maybe it’s because I’ve worked as a tour guide and travelers can sense it. Maybe I just look friendlier than your average commuter. Whatever it is, people stop me constantly.

I never mind helping people who are lost. That’s why I usually give folks the benefit of the doubt when they stop me, if I’m in an area that feels safe. But just as often, they’re stopping me for the second reason.

“Miss, I’m trying to get Wilmington, and can you give me just a $1.75? I just need $1.75 to catch the train!”

Fifty cents, seventy-five cents, a dime, a dollar, I just need to get to Chestnut Hill, Trenton, Malvern, 69th Street. Every time I pass through the train station. Usually I simply feign deafness. But a long weekend of varied assignments left me overwrought, and I still had not had dinner at 10pm.

“Oh yeah, you just need a dollar seventy-five, right?” I cried. “Just gotta catch the train, right? Yeah, you and every other person in this fucking city!”

Let me take a moment to apologize for my language (I know there are at least a few upstanding clergy members among my readers – I hope you won’t flee the premises). I don’t usually talk to people like that. But I want everyone to please note the motto of Alaina Mabaso’s Blog. So I’m going to tell this like it happened.

The man on the cell phone cursed back at me as I swept by.

We’re going to come to the poll soon. I’m going to ask you whether I’m a heartless crone for refusing to help people who ask for train and bus fare, but just bear with me for a minute first.

I am fed up. First, if I gave people the benefit of the doubt and bestowed fifty cents on every person who claimed they were just fifty cents short of their fare to Camden or wherever the hell they’re going, I would have no money left.

Many of these people who stop me are not attired like people in dire circumstances. They are often talking on cell phones or listening to headphones while they ask me for money. If you have an iPod and you can’t even take out your earbuds to talk to me, do you really expect me to believe you don’t have a dollar (or a debit card) in your pocket?

There’s always a story. My wallet got stolen. A car ran me down and I just got out of the hospital. My daughter’s all alone, giving birth in Thorndale. My friend was supposed to meet me but he bailed. I’m not going to ask you to give it to me because of the suffering of the blacks, but can you find it in your heart to give it to me as a fellow woman? There are various props and costume pieces, like a hospital wristband or a kid in a stroller.

Pass through the train station frequently, and you see people operating all day. Once I watched a man in a neck brace (who just needed enough for one bus fare, God bless you, just enough for one bus fare) approach a little family of suburban out-of-towners, who exclaimed over his misfortune and give him twenty dollars. Thirty minutes later he was at it on the other side of the station.

I am not opposed to giving charity. I donate for gardens at inner-city schools and I donate to earthquake victims. I donate to save starving children in Somalia and homeless animals and kids with leukemia. Yes, the amounts are small – I don’t have a lot to spare, but I volunteer when I can. As a writer, I try to give press to deserving local programs. I don’t object to my taxes going towards government programs that help homeless or hungry people. But I am at the end of my rope with these people and their dollar twenty-five to get to Cheltenham.  I have been working my butt off all day running around the city and I am not about to give you a handout just because you asked for it. You can bless me or curse me, but I’m walking away.

And yet. And yet.

My conscience still nags me. What if I’m marching by someone who really needs help? Is seventy-five cents really such a big deal? Maybe I’m a selfish girl who donates to orphans half a world away while ignoring needy people right in her own city.

And so we come to the poll.

Let me conclude by saying that I have given money in rare cases. Once it was to a teenager who really seemed stranded. Another time, the conductor on the train had neglected to collect my cash fare, and when a frazzled woman came up to me with her sob story I thought my own unspent fare was some kind of sign from the universe and I gave her a dollar.

Do you have a story to share in the comments that will help me sort any of this out?


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