Oh you Winter of Twenty Fourteen
More snow and ice than we’ve ever seen.
The kids’ve forgot what school even means
Cuz trailers jackknife and commuters careen.
What is your deal, Winter Twenty Fourteen?
It was warmer back in the Pleistocene.
Next blizzard hits soon as you get the car clean
And I can’t remember the shade we call green.
Take me anywhere but Winter Twenty Fourteen.
I’ve booked the next starship to Tatooine
I wanna eat figs alongside the Qartheen.
Why oh why wasn’t I born Argentine?
Whaddaya want, Winter Twenty Fourteen?
Yeah yeah we’re pussies beside Buffalo’s scene
But the mid-Atlantic ain’t made for snowstorms umpteen.
Shit, power’s out again, there goes my screen.
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